no. 75

Joy

Joy escapes form the tiniest of spaces

when it’s least expected, it sieves its way through

and into places where it should not go

 

once i found it after reading of tragedy

halfway around the world from me

people perished senselessly, and yet there it was

 

the bloom of a flower

 

each petal a promise

 

another time Joy came to me as i

saw my daughter fall

her tears of pain and embarrassment

and then Joy revealed itself in the knowledge that

 

healing begins in picking oneself up

 

tomorrow i know i will find joy in a moment

of deep frustration and despair

it will raise its head to remind me that

the universe finds balance quickly

(written 16 january 2018)

no. 38

so yesterday, i watched an amazing spoken word performance made by rudy francisco, his poem entitled “Complainers,” which inspired me to write this response.

alright, already

maybe it is time to turn the page

time to give up the coil of self imposed discontent

the feeling of spider web nausea and pin prick tears

i heard some words today; instantly made me re-evaluate

made me want to re-enumerate my joys

take time to contemplate the reality rather than

the imagined-until-almost-real fantasy of discontent

that we often build for ourselves, these now crumbling walls

of sadness that once encased my happiness in concrete feelings

loneliness, entitlement, idleness:  culprits, the engineers of this exaggeration,

are no longer welcome, positivity, wonder, join the congregation

and witness my rebirth in gratitude, in elation

someone out there truly has it worse, i know

no, do not misunderstand, patronizing pity has no home here, just empathy

there is water in my glass

let me use it to grow flowers

rather than make sludge.

(written 3 march 2018)