no. 114

joining the circus

 

when i pluck up my courage

when i become more brave

i will leave everything behind

and join the circus

 

i will begin as the mid-life-crisis attraction

banal to spectators, yet strangely

the most sought-after performer

of hot-flash wails

and hormonal mood-swings

in running mascara

i will bemoan the coming of 55 and 60

as i bound around the stage comedically

in search of a cane to ease

my soon-to-be aching joints

i will attempt to regain youth in

contortionism

perfecting clown-like standing splits and bridge

in the name of showbiz i will dress provocatively

in sequined bodysuits that highlight

my knobbly elbows and knees

sucking in my protruding gut

 

after many years, hundreds of shows,

i will transition

and become the self-assured

story-teller

reminiscing about days past

regaling a tale of young love

as gamine acrobats

theatricize the exquisite

blossoming of life

my rheumy eyes shining

i will have a wreath of flowers

in my white curls

and a rocking chair to sit upon

i will smile benevolently at the

audience, who hang on my every word

 

at the imploring of the ringmaster

himself a crotchety mustachioed fellow

who desires the limelight

even more than i

i will urge my nonagenarian body

to assume the form of a spritely

dancer

that which i always wished to be

he will entreat me to join him

in a waltz

and the spot will trail us around

the ring, the only star in the dark

night of the big top

(written 15 september 2019)

 

mundane musing the thirty-fourth

cleaning day

never thought my domestic life would be

like an old hollywood musical

(a lot less sparkle, a lot more dusty-dingy)

not entirely devoid of self-made melodrama

i find myself strangely breaking into song

a fugue state in which i dance an 8-beat phrase

to the pop-hits of the day

shuffle-hop-step

to fill the space between loads of laundry

and emptying the dishwasher

insert jazz hands and fosse-esque hip roll

reorganizing our props for the millionth time

setting the stage for reality

(written 8 may 2018)