no. 103


have you wondered where i have been

lurking in corners, fallen off the earth

or have i given myself too much importance


the messy center of my own universe

suddenly withdrawn, retracted, only to reappear

when all is quiet

and the weightiness of life has fallen off my shoulders

when things are less messy

and i feel more centered in this universe

that doesn’t really belong to me

unable to string together simile or metaphor

no figurative language to describe

my current state of being

except to say, oh, how i have missed you

will you know i have returned


will you open your arms

accept my non-apology

a silent sliver on the tip of my

once silver tongue

treat me like it never happened


written 24 july 2018




here’s my last post to the mafia for a while…

The literati mafia

there is something

exquisitely and


eviscerating about

exploring one’s own


reaction to the


i am here and not here

i go unnoticed but yet

i am painfully present

i am one among hundreds

i appear as other so

i am (in)visible

i am (im)possible

i stop in the middle and they file around me

water around a boulder

it never notices

just keeps moving


©mariah voutilainen 2018

mariah is present at (re)imagining the mundane.

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